


Now That You're Gone

by ElenaHarris



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Future, Heartbreak, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-08
Updated: 2014-05-08
Packaged: 2018-01-24 01:11:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1586180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElenaHarris/pseuds/ElenaHarris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Posting old works whilst working on new ones, so people who've asked for a follow-up for Revelations don't worry I haven't forgotten! X</p></blockquote>





	Now That You're Gone

We all piled into the car, just like old times, the other three laughing at some comment Niall had made as we all put our seat belts on. I flinched as Liam pressed a subtle kiss to Zayn’s cheek, and he hung his head and pulled away with a sense of guilt as a quiet descended upon the car. All gazes were directed at me and the empty space next to me, above which a small stuffed cat cuddled up to one of many plush carrots I had been given in the early days by fans. I looked around, taking in Niall’s leprechaun, Zayn’s mirror and Liam’s turtle, and felt a strong sense of nostalgia as I was reminded of the jokes we’d shared with fans when we’d just started out.

_“We owe it all to the fans.”_

I jumped in my seat as a very familiar voice spoke, seemingly from the next seat. But it was just a memory, and the seat was still vacant. I felt Zayn lay a hand on my shoulder but didn’t react, still entranced by the voice that I could only assume had come to me as I revisited something  I had only ever done with him by my side.

Bouncing up and down on my toes as I waited to go on stage he came into my mind again. Just for a second he was standing there, laughing and throwing his head back carelessly in amusement, causing his curls to fall behind his shoulders. I gasped suddenly at the image and felt a hand on my arm, steadying me.

“Alright Lou?” Liam asked.

I nodded and his face disappeared from my thoughts.

“I’m ready.”

“Good luck mate. You’ll be brilliant!” Niall hugged me.

“Go get ‘em.” Zayn added.

There was only one person missing. But then, I’d only seen him in my dreams or on TV for the last couple of years. Harry had left us all and One Direction had fallen apart without him. He had a successful solo career now, as did the rest of the boys and I.

But he hadn’t just left the band behind when he’d stormed out of the pub that night we’d last seen him face to face. He’d left me too. He’d left what we had. He’d taken all his things from our flat that night – and that included my heart. He’d left a shell behind him, standing there begging as he’d walked away into the darkness. The shell of the man he’d said he loved. Of the man he had promised never to leave, no matter what. He’d left without so much as a glance back.

And now, two years on, twenty year old Harry Styles was in a steady relationship and taking the world by storm. And every time a new picture of him and his girlfriend appeared in the media my heart shattered a little more. I was in tiny pieces and I couldn’t move on from him.

And tonight was the first night of my first solo tour and I was terrified at the thought of being on stage without the curly haired boy I pined for. But I had to do it. I couldn’t stay stuck in the past forever.

I stepped out onto the stage and took in the sight of a full O2 arena in shock.

“Hello O2, how you all doing?” I yelled into my microphone and was met by a loud cheer. I started off with a couple of songs from my album, including my most recent number one single ‘Now That You’re Gone’. The crowd loved it and I waved to a couple of girls who had a massive sign saying ‘Forever Young Boo-Bear!!!’ on it as I sung the last few notes. It seemed that about seventy percent of the crowd were One Direction fans and it made me feel a lot better that they were still fans and hadn’t given up on the band even though the singers had.

“Before I sing my next song, I’d like to thank all the directioners out there for continuing to support us even though we’re all doing our own thing now. Just for you guys I’ve got a little surprise later on! But now I’ve got a few covers lined up that mean a lot to mean. This is ‘Breakeven’.

 _I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing_  
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while he got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven  
  
His best days will be some of my worst  
He finally met someone that's gonna put him first  
While I'm wide awake he's no trouble sleeping  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no  
  
What am I supposed to do  
When the best part of me was always you and  
What am I supposed to say  
When I'm all choked up and you're okay  
  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
I'm falling to pieces  
  
They say bad things happen for a reason  
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding  
'Cause he's moved on while I'm still grieving  
And when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no  
  
What am I gonna do  
When the best part of me was always you  
And what am I suppose to say  
When I'm all choked up and you're okay  
  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
  
  
You got her heart and my heart and none of the pain  
You took your suitcase, I took the blame  
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh  
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name  
  
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while he got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break  
No it don't break, no it don't breakeven, no  
  
What am I gonna do  
When the best part of me was always you  
And what am I supposed to say  
When I'm all choked up and you're okay  
  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
  
Oh, it don't breakeven, no  
Oh, it don't breakeven, no  
Oh, it don't breakeven, no” 

As I finished, blinking the tears from my eyes, I watched the fans take in that I’d changed the words to ‘him’ and realise that I was singing about Harry. One fan in the front row was holding up a sign reading ‘I miss Larry Stylinson! Give Haz another chance?’. I gasped and glanced down to look at the fan holding the sign only to find that it wasn’t a fan at all.

The person holding the sign was male, and taller than many of the oblivious girls he was surrounded by. His hair naturally fell in chocolate curls around his face and his green eyes glinted with tears not unlike my own. He had dimples showing subtly as he smiled sadly, suddenly shaking his head in a way I’d seen a hundred times to get the hair out of his face whilst his hands were occupied with the attention grabbing sign, created in a way that could only be done by someone who had been on the other end of the signs and knew what made them more likely to be seen.

Harry caught my eye, took one hand away from a sign and very deliberately and humbly blew me a kiss.  I swallowed hard. Forcing myself to tear my gaze away, and reminding myself sharply that the show must go on, I introduced my next song and continued with my set, keeping my eye away from that spot on the middle of the front row and occasionally trying to catch one of the boys’ eyes from where they stood just off stage but failing every time.

“Okay guys it’s time for that surprise I promised you.” I announced close to the end of the night. “It’s a one off, so get your cameras out and enjoy yourself: for one night only here’s four fifths of One Direction with our first official single from all those years ago: ‘What Makes You Beautiful’.” Liam, Zayn and Niall bounded onto the stage, patting me on the back as the intro started. I leant towards Zayn as Liam walked forward, singing his solo.

“Harry’s on the front row.” I murmured to him.

“What?” he gasped in shock.

“In the middle.”

“He’s not there Lou. I thought we were over this. He’s not coming back.” Zayn wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I shook my head in disbelief as I noted that Harry had in fact disappeared, thinking that I must’ve imagined it after all, and stepped forward to sing his bridge. But before I could open my mouth, a very familiar voice flowed from the side of the stage as its true singer emerged, holding a spare microphone. He walked slowly over to me, our eyes locked together, singing every word straight to me, reaching me as we all launched into the chorus. He sung alongside me and we finished the song as we always had, as naturally as if his appearance had been planned all along.

 

Piling off the stage, Harry hung back slightly, unsure of what to do. I turned back and bit my lip.

“Harry?” I whispered shakily.

He looked up at me with wary eyes underneath his eyelashes and I noticed his hand quivering slightly. His left lip lifted up into a lopsided timid smile and he looked away.

“Harry why are you here tonight?” I muttered carefully, trying to do anything and everything to prevent him from running away.

“I don’t know.” He shook his head in a tiny movement that would’ve been impossible to spot if I hadn’t been looking closely, and wouldn’t have meant a thing if I had not known him as I did.

“Yes you do.” I challenged softly.

“Yes I do.” He admitted. “I needed to see you, Louis. I didn’t know how else to see you in real life.” He hung his head.

“Why didn’t you just come and see me?” I breathed.

“Because then I would have to admit to making the biggest mistake of life.” He stared me straight in the eye and shuffled a tiny bit closer to me. “But watching you up there tonight, I realised that I needed to admit it, because I’ve regretted it everyday since. And I can’t move on from you. I’ve tried so hard, what with Alice and everything. But there’s no spark between me and her, not like there was with us. And I realised that I couldn’t just leave tonight without speaking to you once more, even if it were just for you to shout in my face and tell me you never wanted to see me again. I needed to see you, because I still love you Louis. I never stopped loving you.”

“Harry…” I began.

“Please, hear me out. Let me explain. Because I’ll never be able to do this again. That night…I was so sure I was doing the right thing. I thought that I was doing right by you. This was all for you…”

“Don’t.” I interrupted, pressing my palm to my brow. “Don’t say that. Have you any idea what I’ve gone through over the past two years?” I gritted my teeth as emotion overcame me. “I’ve been a wreck Harry. A wreck. I haven’t eaten a proper meal since you left. Liam’s made me eat whatever I have. You left the white jumper under your bed by the way. It still smells of you – and don’t ask how I know that because I might just tell you. Every magazine and newspaper you’ve featured in is in a pile in the front room. Every. Single. One. It’s as if you died – that’s what the boys said. That’s all they talk about when they think I’m asleep. How it’s not normal. Obsessive, even. But I couldn’t help it. And then you just come swanning back into my life, saying it was all for me! How? How in any way has this benefited me? Why did you leave me, Harry? Why?”

I broke down, my knees giving way. Harry darted forward and caught me under my arms and held me close to him as I sobbed choking sobs uncontrollably into his chest. Despite myself, and despite the state I was in, I couldn’t help but take a deep breath and inhale his individual scent, the pure heavenly aroma sending me into a state of delirium.

“Louis?” He whispered tenderly in my ear, pulling everything back into focus. I pulled away from him hastily and tugged at my top, trying to right myself. “Louis I’m sorry.” He told me sincerely, tears in his perfect green eyes. “I am. I didn’t think it would affect you this much. I didn’t think I was that important. I thought that everything would be better for you if I left. The media would be off your back and you wouldn’t get anymore of that hate. I thought you would forget…me.”

“I could never forget you.” I breathed.

“I never forgot you.” He replied in kind.

I closed the small gap between us and buried my hands deep in his hair, closing my eyes and committing each and every moment to memory as our lips touched. It was less a second before his hands found my hips, drawing me closer and deepening the kiss.

“If you’ll let me…” he began breathlessly when we drew apart, “I’d like to see more of you.”

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.” I replied, a grin crossing my lips.

And he smiled that breathtaking smile that had haunted my memory for two years and I felt something I hadn’t felt for far too long.

I felt like I was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Posting old works whilst working on new ones, so people who've asked for a follow-up for Revelations don't worry I haven't forgotten! X


End file.
